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Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I was very
angry with my wife and my wife asked me for a divorce.
I knew very well that divorce would lead to losing my
daughters, because custody of some of them would be
given to the mother. That upset me very much, and I
could no longer live with her after she had asked for
a divorce. I got to know a girl over the phone and
that was not with the intention of marriage, rather it
was just to compensate me with sweet words and no more
than that; it was not with the aim of getting married
or committing sin. After I reconciled with my wife she
found out about that and now I feel too embarrassed to
speak to her about that which may lead to a further
separation, because my wife wants to know exactly what
happened and I feel too embarrassed to tell her about
that. What should I do? May Allaah reward you.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not
permissible for a man to form a relationship with a
non-mahram woman, even if it is only with the aim of
listening to some sweet words as you say. That is one
of the traps of the shaytaan by means of which he
gradually tempts people. Women are forbidden to soften
their voices when speaking to men who are not
permissible for them, as Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is
a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery)
should be moved with desire, but speak in an
And it is haraam for a man to enjoy listening to the
voice of a non-mahram woman. It is obvious that a
believer would not approve of such a thing for his
wife or sister or daughter, i.e., for her to get to
know someone to whom she speaks on the phone, so why
would he approve of that for the daughters of other
Hence what you must do is repent to Allaah and end
this relationship completely. You do not have to tell
your wife about the details; it is sufficient to tell
her that it was a mistake and you have given it up.
We ask Allaah to forgive us and you.
And Allaah knows best.