He Wants To Get Married But His Parents Want Him To Delay That
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
you think a one should do who have high sexual desires
who doesnt go out nor does anything to satisfy it. It
is very distracting , constant thoughts in the head ,
I do want to get married but parents have high
expectations, to become somebody first then think
Praise be to Allaah.
narrated in al-Bukhaari (5065) and Muslim (3384) that
'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood said: The Messenger of Allaah
(Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) said to
us: "O young men, whoever among you can afford to get
married, let him do so, for it is more effective in
lowering the gaze and preserving chastity. Whoever
cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a
shield for him" – i.e., it will reduce and weaken his
Based on this, if a person can afford to get married
then he should hasten to do so, because of the many
benefits that this brings, as mentioned by the Prophet
(Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him), namely it
helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity,
increases the numbers of the ummah and offers
protection against temptation and mischief.
Ibn Mas'ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "If
I only had ten days left to live and I knew that I was
going to die on the last of them, and I could afford
to get married, I would get married, for fear of
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
"Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam at all."
If you fear hardship for yourself and that you may and
fall into sin, then in that case it is obligatory for
you to get married.
In this case parents are advised to arrange their
son's marriage and not to stand in the way of his
remaining chaste and protecting himself from
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
"With regard to marriage, people fall into three
categories. Some of them fear that they may fall into
sin if they do not get married, in which case it is
obligatory to marry, according to the view of most of
the fuqaha', because this will make a person remain
chaste and protect him from committing haraam actions;
the only way to do is to get married."
You have to deal gently and kindly with your parents
and try to convince them of your need to get married,
and tell them that this will never conflict with what
they want for you in the future. You can also seek the
help of wise people among your relatives to convince
The questioner is to be commended for not going out to
places of fitnah (temptation) and not fulfilling his
desires by haraam means. We ask Allaah to make you
steadfast and to help you to find a good wife who will
be a delight to you and your parents, for He is
Ever-near and Responsive.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.